This time last year my life had been thrown upside down. When the man of my dreams decided it was over – no negotiating! I now feel I can share a little more.
Over 10 years ago I lost the love of my life and was heartbroken, after 5 years alone I thought I’d found the man of my dreams. He loved the countryside, was caring, loving, respectful and honest about the big things but not about broccoli!
I let this man dictate the pace of our relationship and (perhaps) I made a mistake. But we had fun and adventures; some fabulous achievements walking the Coast to Coast, the Cotswold Way, doing a Wolf Run, renovating and extending a house, rearing chickens……
Only to find 5 years on he doesn’t like broccoli and won’t compromise. I think I’d been incredibly supportive, amenable, compliant and giving but at the 11th hour felt it wasn’t reciprocated. We had an opportunity to move nearer to my family and business, this turned out to be “out of the question” and “there is no way I’m moving in that direction” and that brought us to breaking point.
Read what happened next here and here
This time I was not heartbroken (I had no tears left after the last time) but I was disappointed and sad. We had begun to build an idyllic home and life together, which is not always easy to come by in your 50s with all that life has already given you, and we were comfortable together.
The situation was hard and a little bizarre when there was no building up of little niggles to a big fallout. It appeared to come from nowhere. With hindsight I guess it was the right thing to move out and on. As I now reflect on it I’m angry, mainly with myself. My lack of strength to be in control of my own destiny when we were in the early days of the relationship. As I said in my Celebrating 2017 blog I don’t function well in relationships!
My family are very important to me – my Dad was 90 last year and won’t be around forever, although I am expecting a good 5 – 10 years more! My daughters are in their mid twenties and perhaps will have families of their own one day. I’m in no hurry to be a Grandma tho’, and when they do I’m sure it will be fantastic to be near them. In the meantime it’s brilliant to pop over for a cuppa rather than having to plan an expedition to see them.
Life goes on and the next chapter is underway. I’m not looking for the “man of my dreams” or the “love of my life” but enjoying life to the full. Stay tuned further musings of this 50 something fitness lover.
Thanks for reading.
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You may be interested to read what helped me last year with these life changes – What got me through Jan and Feb 2017